Lisa Hood

I received an email today with some wise words. They are attributed to Andy Rooney (but isn’t most chain mail these days?)

I’ve learned…. That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned…. That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned…. That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve learned…. That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve learned…. That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned. … That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned…. That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned…. That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned…. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned…. That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned…. That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I’ve learned…. That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned…. That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned…. That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned… That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned…. That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I ‘ve learned…. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned…. That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned…. That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned…. That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned…. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned… That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned…. That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned…. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned…. That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I’ve learned…. That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned…. That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned…. That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned…. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned …. That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

 It seems that no matter how focused I am on improving my life, I take 2 steps forward and then 1 step back. 

Lately I’ve been going in the wrong direction.  I feel over whelmed with things to do so I avoid confronting them by watching TV or reading. I have a gazillion articles to write, home projects, photos to sort and scan, walks to take, things to learn, books to write - and yet, I spend my weekends watching movies.  This weekend was particularly bad because I didn’t eat well either.

I don’t want to say “I went off my diet” because I’m not on a diet.  I’ve just been eating better, healthier foods, slowly and consistently.  Plus A & I have started walking in the evening. We had a big scare last week. A was working on the pool and got over heated and light headed. The dizziness lasted for a couple of days and we were afraid he had a mild heart attack or stroke. He went to an internist this week and everything is fine, but it was a wake up call for both of us. 

K and I had this conversation a few weeks ago.  One of her teachers told her people are incapable of change. So she took that to mean that since she’s gotten poor grades in the past, she’s incapable of doing better.  I don’t believe that for a second.  I told her our habits are like ruts in the road.  If we try to avoid the ruts, we have to hold on tight to the steering wheel; otherwise we just veer right back into the well worn groove.  New habits require attention and energy until a new groove is formed. Even though I know this, it’s still discouraging when I feel myself slipping back into my ruts. 

Another thing that discourages me is knowing that no matter what I do, or how far I go in life, there will always be more to do, to learn, to improve.  Some people question the meaning of life, but I KNOW the meaning.  It is to constantly grow.  Life without growth, without dissatisfaction and longing, without struggle and victory is death.  This is when people get in trouble, seeking answers in a bottle of booze or pills, or even food.  Without meaning our actions have no consequence.

We create our lives every day. No day is dispensable, no effort is in vain.  Even when we don’t see immediate or expected results, we are carving a new path, reinforcing new habits and growing as a human being.  I must remember this truth.

Another reason for my malease is certain circumstances in my home that frustrate me.  I feel powerless to change things and assume a victim mentality.  I know that everything in my life is there because I allow it.  If I accept it, I own it, good or bad. However, I feel resentful and unhappy with A & K’s ongoing, strained relationship, the mess, the unfinished projects, our financial situation, the sense of entitlement from the kids and constant bickering between K & T.  I do have to say we’ve had a couple of very nice family outings which have shown me it is possible for us to enjoy each others’ company.  However, day to day there is still negative interactions and disrespect. This is not how I want my home to be.  Some days I don’t even want to be there. Many days I think “Just two more years” How sad to wish away time with my children.  Because I know when the time comes, I’ll wish to have them back.

It really is starting to worry me.  I’m exhausted all the time and have no desire to do anything.  I went to mom’s this weekend and she was telling me she and Jesse are going on an Alaskan cruise in June. This is something I’ve always wanted to do, but just the thought of packing, going to the airport and being on the go for 2 wks is overwhelming.  I can barely get myself to the grocery store after work. About 6 months ago I told my doctor how I was feeling and they did a serious of tests. My thyroid was fine and I wasn’t anemic (previous issues in my past) but I did have Epstein Barr Virus.  EBV has been linked to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but since 95% of adults have EBV there’s no direct correlation. Since that time I’ve had my antidepressant increased but I still just want to sleep. The more I sleep, the more tired I become.I read an interesting article today about the affect nutrition has on tiredness.  I never really thought of it before, but when you consider how little nutritional value our foods have today, especially my diet which is mostly processed, packaged foods instead of fresh foods, it’s no wonder I’m tired.  I wasn’t taking multivitamins consistently and stopped altogether about a year ago.  It was just sheer laziness and getting out of a routine.  I’m going to begin with a multi vitamin, calcium, B complex (B6 and B12), Folic Acid and D to see if that helps.   

I don’t want to sleep my life away, but I’m just too tired to do more than function.