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IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER by Erma Bombeck

October 30, 2008 – 9:58 am

I love this simple reminder to live each day to the fullest - to stop waiting for someday because all we really have is today!

 

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime..

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, ‘Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.’ There would have been more ‘I love you’s’ More ‘I’m sorry’s.’

But mostly, given another shot at l i fe, I would seize every minute, look at it and really see it , live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Here are few things I would do differently…

I would have cared less about looking stupid.

I would have voiced my opinion, even if it made others angry or upset.

I would have followed my dream (to art school) instead of settling into middle class reality.

I would have lived in more cities.

I would have acquired less stuff and more memories.

It’s not too late to make these changes today.  Get rid of stuff, surround yourself with people, laughter and experiences.  Today I will rock the boat, follow my dream and not give a damn if I look stupid.

 

Lisa Hood | Random Thoughts | Comments (0)

Dao De Jing

October 20, 2008 – 10:05 am

Wayne Dyer has a new book and PBS special called “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life” based on his year long study of the Dao De Jing.  The Dao De Jing is a compilation of simple versus full of spiritual wisdom, attributed to Lao Zi (Old Man). Dao is another world for God or Creator or Source.  “The Dao that can be named, is not the Dao”

Here are few notes I took from the show. 

“Returning is the motion of the Dao.”  All of us came from a divine spiritual essence, so the Dao suggests we return to our origin of being. 

No where to Now here back to No where.

Trust your nature and the nature of the universe to provide everything necessary to be.  Once we stop interfering with our nature or allowing others to interfere, we find out spiritual compass.  Otherwise we live with EGO and define ourselves with what we have or how people think of us. “The great master follows his own nature and not the trapping of life. A truly good man is not aware of his goodness, and so he is good.”  Retrain EGO to shift from fear to curiosity and take everything you’re attached to and start letting it go. Because things do not define us!  I am not my clothing, my photos, my furniture, my books.  I am my nature.  I came into this world with NO Thing and I will leave with NO Thing. 

Shift from Control to Trust, letting go and letting GOD. Shift my sense of entitlement to just being and being humble.  The EGO says we are separate, but we’re all one, connected by a single source.  We are all just branches on one tree, so it’s ridiculous for one branch to feel superior to another, or to feel hatred for another. The person of Dao will eliminate pain, hatred, hurt by ending conflict with love. 

 ”Be wise and help all beings impartially, abandoning none.” If your nature is to be kind, you will be kind to the kind and kind to the unkind equally, because you are being true to your nature and you won’t allow others to interfere with that nature.

More is the mantra of the Ego, always trying to collect more stuff to reinforce the Ego.

“Sages do not accumulate anything but give everything to others, having more the more they give.” 80/20 rule applied to everything I own says that 80% of what I have, I don’t use.  Take the 80% I don’t use and give it away. “When your cup is full, stop pouring.”  When you realize you have enough, you are truly rich. Live in a state of contentment.  Start every morning saying ‘Thank You’.

Shift from rigid thinking to softness and flexibility.  Like water, it flows and moves around obstacles, if fills every opening. It is consistent and patient.  A soft thought doesn’t limit possibilities with narrow definitions. “Nothing in the world is softer and weaker than water, but for attacking the hard, the unyielding, nothing can surpass it. There is nothing.”  The more you grasp, the harder you hold on, the less control you have, but the more flexible you are the more you can accomplish. Be strong by bending, just like a tree that can sway with the wind, it will survive where the rigid tree will snap. The wind is going to happen, it can’t be avoided.

“The supreme good is water, which nourishes all things without trying to.” 

You’re doing nothing, you’re just being done.  We’re racing to accomplish tasks, chores, to run errands, but it’s really doing nothing.  Live by not interfering. Children have the anchor of the universe w/in them. They come through you but not for you, they are not belongings that can be moved or placed according to your wants and needs. “Everything under Heaven is a sacred vessel and can not be controlled.  Trying to control leads to ruin.” Trust in others to know what is best for them.

There’s a time for all things, “Hidden in misfortune is good fortune”.  We must accept all parts of our life, rather than resisting.  Flow with it, ride it out and there will be time for rest and peace.  Find the good hidden in every circumstance and know that this too will pass.  Because nothing in life or nature is permanent, everything changes and evolves. “Wisdom is knowing I am nothing. Love is knowing I am everything. Between the two is when life happens.”

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one first step.”  Changes don’t happen big, changes happen small, just one day at a time.  Just commit to taking the first step, everyday. Look within to find the way.  The harder you try the more difficult it is to achieve, rather just do it with ease and don’t try.

 

Lisa Hood | Random Thoughts | Comments (0)

A Prayer

August 12, 2008 – 11:31 pm

The supreme prayer of my heart is not to be learned, rich, famous, powerful, or “good,” but simply to be radiant. I desire to radiate health, cheerfulness, calm courage and good will. I wish to live without hate, whim, jealousy, envy, fear. I wish to be simple, honest, frank, natural, ready to say “I do not know,” and to face any obstacle and meet every difficulty unabashed and unafraid.

I wish others to live their lives, too–up to their highest, fullest and best. To that end I pray that I may never meddle, interfere, dictate, give advice that is not wanted, or assist when my services are not needed. If I can help people, I’ll do it by giving them a chance to help themselves; and if I can uplift or inspire, let it be by example, inference, and suggestion, rather than by injunction and dictation. That is to say, I desire to be radiant–to radiate life.

Lisa Hood | Random Thoughts | Comments (0)

My Favorite Quote

August 6, 2008 – 7:34 pm

“Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘who am I to be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?’ Actually, who are we not to be? You are a child of God: Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~Marianne Williamson

Lisa Hood | Random Thoughts | Comments (0)

Random Acts of Kindness

July 3, 2008 – 12:20 pm

Here are just a few ways to practice kindness, a little bit each day. It’s absolutely amazing the response you receive when you do something nice. Once in awhile I’ll buy coffee for the person behind me in line and everytime I do that, people are just stunned. You would think I had given them a million dollars, but when it’s unexpected like that, it feels like a million bucks. Plus I believe it reminds people that we’re all in this together. It’s too easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and concerns and dehumanize everyone else. “People” become barriers, annoyances, objects to manipulate or control rather than individuals. When a stranger buys you coffee, suddenly you see a person again…

More acts of kindness
Sweep the sidewalk in front of your neighbor’s house when you do your own.
Make a card at home and send it to a friend for no reason.
Buy a lottery ticket for a stranger.
Put some coins in someone else’s parking meter.
Give a compliment about your waiter/waitress to his/her manager.
Send someone a small gift anonymously.
Stop and help someone replace their flat tire.
Let someone jump the line at the bank or grocery store
Pay for the drinks on the next table at a café.
Pay for the person’s order behind you at the drive up window.
Tip the fast food worker who takes your order.
Give a huge tip to someone when they least expect it.
Hold the elevator door open for someone who’s rushing to catch it.
Give up your seat for someone, not just an elderly person.
Write notes of appreciation at least once a week.
Talk to a homeless person and have a “normal” conversation.
Pick up litter.
Compliment a work colleague for their excellence.
Give another driver your parking spot.
Give a piece of fruit to a delivery person.
Help an elderly neighbor run errands or do a chore.
Tell your family members how much your appreciate them.
Leave a copy of an interesting book on a train/bus.
Send a thank you note to a person who has helped you in the past.
Smile and acknowledge the person before you.

I used to get particularily annoyed with cashiers who didn’t smile or greet me when I stepped to the front of the line. Now, instead of getting irritated I’ll ask “Are you having a bad day today?” The key is I don’t ask in a sarcastic or nasty way, but with genuine interest. 9 times out of 10 the person snaps out of their sour mood with “Oh, no, I’m just tired. I only have 15 more minutes on shift…” It’s much easier to live life with kindness when you realize very little of what’s going on around you, has anything to do with you.

Lisa Hood | Random Thoughts | Comments (0)

My Bucket List

July 1, 2008 – 3:47 pm

The universe is sending me lots of messages lately, first gentle reminders and then a few bricks to the head, so it’s time to listen up. I watched The Bucket List and decided that would be a good place to start.

My Bucket List
1.   To be a Writer* - I want to be a published author, earn my living as a writer and complete at least one (short story or novel) for every year of life (so far I’m behind 41)
2.   Help a needy child - I have often thought of adoption or being a foster parent. I don’t know exactly how this will manifest, but I definately want to help at least one child in need.
3.   See a Broadway Play
4.   Take an Alaskan Cruise
5.   Ride a horse
6.   Ski down a mountain
7.   Learn to dance
8.   Travel to Europe
9.   Learn to play a musical instrument
10. Learn a second language

I’ve already done the following:
1. Be in Love
2. Be a mother
3. Take a Cruise
4. Ride in a hot air balloon
5. Go to Hawaii
6. Ride a roller coaster
7. Play like a kid
8. Laugh until I cry
9. Practice Kindness - it’s taken me 40 years to realize that I’ve never been ashamed of myself when I’m patient and kind. It’s only when I act angry or intolerant that I have something to be embarrassed about. Now everyday I do my best to be kind to others and practice random acts of kindness.
10. Swim in the ocean

Lisa Hood | Random Thoughts | Comments (0)

Life’s Last Lecture

June 20, 2008 – 8:59 am

Here is an inspiring, amazing lecture given by Randy Pausch,  who was given 3-6 months to live.  He starts off by apologizing to the audience if he doesn’t appear morose or depressed enough given his prognosis.  Instead he is full of life, wit and wisdom.   Please take the time to watch the video.  It’ll change the way you look at the world, your life and people around you. 

Here are just a few of the insights Randy shared -

Never underestimate the importance of having fun. Keep having fun every day because there’s no other way to play it

Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.

Find the best in everybody. Wait long enough and people will surprise and impress you.

Brick walls are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop people who don’t want it badly enough.

It is not about achieving your dreams but living your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.

We can’t change the cards we’re dealth, just how we play the hand.

 

 

 

Lisa Hood | Random Thoughts | Comments (0)

A Gentle Reminder

June 10, 2008 – 11:29 am

I saw an excellent post today that was a reminder about the true essence of life. Not the “things” that fill our spaces; our physical and mental voids; cluttered and crowded yet hollow of meaning. The only substance that can fill us with happiness, belonging, purpose and hope, is love. Our relationships with individuals, not objects, will be testimony of our lives.

“Things are good to have, but if one is alone or empty inside, they bring cold comfort. Without relationship everything is flat, empty, absurd.”
“…life can be squandered on nonsense, cotton candy, boxes with nice covers, with a pretty ribbon, but inside, there is no gift, just disappointment and for many loneliness.”

This is always an excellent reminder, and when it is so eloquently put, hard to ignore.
“Life is precious because it is short. It is something limited, transitory, vapor; which is what gives it its intensity. So to be aware of the shortness of life; the reality that life does turn on a dime, can prompt us to live better, deeper, more fulfilling lives. True richness is the love of others and yes the ability to love in return which often takes courage and perseverance.”

Lisa Hood | Random Thoughts | Comments (0)

Define Happiness

June 9, 2008 – 12:36 pm

This morning K & I had a conversation about happiness. Actually, it was less a conversation, more an argument. K is an unhappy person and at times, she’s an angry person. Most of the time I’m sympathetic to her angst, but some days I lose my patience. Today was one of those days.  I was a bit tough on her, but eventually I got around to asking her what would make her “happy”.  She answered “I have no idea.”

If you don’t know what happiness looks like, how will you recognize it when it arrives?  I suggested she define the things she would have, feel or believe if she were happy. Once again, she had no idea where to begin.  She is intimately familiar with unhappiness though, so she can begin there and once defined, consider the opposite.  

I decided to take my own advice…

I am Happy because….

I am grateful for the people and blessing in my life.

            How do I define this?

                        - I don’t dwell on negative aspects of life

                        - I am able to manage unexpected events with little stress and an optimistic attitude

                        - I focus on what is going well

                        - I live in the present

I accept myself and others as they are, and not as I wish them to be.

            How do I define this?

                        - I forgive my mistakes and the mistakes of others

                        - I speak up when I’m calm and shut up when I’m angry

                        - I don’t hold grudges or regrets

                        - I look for the good and try to understand the bad

                        - I don’t participate in negative behaviors with others (i.e.: blame, name calling or anger)

                        - I respect myself and set boundaries for how others treat me

                        - I don’t hold others to standards higher than I hold myself

                        - I don’t blame others for my actions or my feelings 

                        - I give people the benefit of the doubt

                        - I try to see things from another point of view before arguing my point of view (it doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong)

I am healthy

            How do I define this?

                        - I make smart choices for my body and mind

                        - I participate in physical activities

                        - I have energy to accomplish my goals

                        - I do feel well most days and I’m able to recover quickly from illness

My opinion matters to people that matter to me  

            How do I define this?

                        - My opinion isn’t disregarded, though others may disagree with me, they will first hear me out 

                        - I’m not insulted, ridiculed or demeaned for my opinion

                        - If I tell people that something bothers me, they will respect my feelings. Even if they don’t understand why.  If I do something that bothers others and I know it, I will do my best to change my behavior accordingly.

                        - I listen with an open mind. I’m not defensive nor do I make others defensive when expressing opposing views.

                        - I feel like it is safe for me to talk about my feelings.

Lisa Hood | Random Thoughts | Comments (0)

Limiting Beliefs

June 1, 2008 – 9:22 pm

May was a rough month for me.  I haven’t felt inspired to write and when I don’t write I beat myself up. Perfectionism holds me back.  When I think of others reading my work and judging it, my creativity is blocked.  I struggle to regain my balance.   I did discover a list of questions regarding limiting beliefs, which may help me get on track faster in the future.
1. What are you unhappy about?

I am unhappy with my physical well being. I lack energy and drive.

I am also unhappy with my tendency to not follow through on my goals. I have high expectations for myself but I’m not accountable for taking action. 
2. Why are you unhappy about that?

I’m unhappy because I don’t keep my word to myself and I want to live with integrity.  I also want to achieve something concrete and lasting in my life. I truly believe I was given talent but I’ve failed to nurture my abilities.  Not just in writing but in art too. I’ve always loved to draw and create, but I don’t dedicate any time to it.  It feels as though I’m not living my purpose.  Physically I want to have more energy so I can achieve more. I don’t equate the mental effort I put forward every day with physical energy. 
 
3. What are you concerned would happen if you were not unhappy about that?

If I wasn’t unhappy about not performing to high expectations I would be accepting of the status quo. I would stop striving and settle for less than I’m capable of.  If I followed through I might be disappointed with the results.  Wanting to be a writer and having the dream just grazing my fingertips keeps it alive. If I grasp it and find I’m unable to write the way I want to, the dream will be lost. 
4. Do you believe that?

Yes.  I do believe that I’m afraid of taking action and then failing.  By not taking action I can tell myself “someday” I’ll write the way I want to. This is the same with my art. I never felt like I was good enough to be a professional artist, so I just quit working on it. I use my energy for endeavors other than my writing.  It’s not that I don’t have enough energy it’s how I choose to use it.  
 
5. Why do you believe that?

Because I want to be a good writer, maybe not great but good, if I don’t live up to that standard I just won’t try. This is my pattern.  I imagine doing better, I plan for it some day, but if I don’t try - I don’t fail.
Thinking about writing takes as much time and energy as actually writing.  In June I’m going to dedicate myself to getting more words on paper.  I feel calmer and centered when I’m writing.  

Lisa Hood | Random Thoughts | Comments (0)