Lisa Hood

Bad habits are like uninvited guests.  They arrive without warning, create chaos and dissatisfaction in our lives and linger far too long. The problem could be easily solved if we never let them in the front door. That’s easier said then done though.  Usually they stand on our porch baring gifts. We may be fooled into thinking they are actually welcomed or we may think their stay is only temporary.

It’s Christmas time, which means the yearly tradition of eating until I’m ready to pop: all those treats like homemade cookies and candies that we don’t have day to day.  I think I’ll just binge through the holiday season and get back on track the first of the year.  Instead, January, February, March go by and I’m still overeating.  The habit I invited into my life has kicked up its feet and taken over the remote.  

This year, instead of worrying about how I’m going to rid myself of this pesky intruder, I’m going to close the door in its face. I will act as though I’m a thin person and food is not the center of my existence.  The holidays are about being with my family, enjoying their company and realizing how blessed we are.  Christmas is not about gifts or food, even though our family traditions seem to revolve around both. 

Speaking of gifts, another bad habit I’ve allowed into my life is the habit of consumerism.  I’ve let myself get sucked into the mind set that buying this particular item or brand will make me happy.  I don’t NEED anything.  I’m truly blessed that I’m able to provide food, shelter, clothing and medical care to my family.  But I WANT so much.  Sometimes I feel as though I don’t have the right to WANT anything because it seems as though I’m ungrateful for what I do have.  And I certainly don’t need to add more clutter to my life or try to fill some void with stuff.  

I want to clear out all the clutter that weighs me down. I have so much stuff collecting in closets, cabinets, storage sheds and the garage, I don’t even know where things are any more.  It’s amazing too because I’ve purged car loads of junk in the last year.  I guess I just keep bringing in more and more to replace it.  This habit of buying stuff to fill space, in my home or in my soul, needs to go.  There isn’t room for it, much less any more junk in my life.

The most destructive habit I have though is the habit of withdrawing.  I go into my room, shut the door, and shut down emotionally.  I hate that I do this, but I feel such a sense of relief when it’s the end of the day and I know I can just go home and veg.  Of course with the kids, the only way I can veg is to disengage from them. That’s why I just shut myself off.  I need to fix my life, not hide from it.  

There are things that have made me really unhappy the last few years and my life really isn’t what I hoped it would be.  In particular the conflict at home is depressing.  I think I’ve done my absolute best to provide a good home for my children, but I don’t feel it is a happy home.  Alan’s relationship with Kelsey has been strained for years and now that Tay is becoming a “teenager” there’s stress there too.  I know he doesn’t like it anymore than I do, so he withdraws from the situation as well.  Some days it’s just easier to avoid them altogether than to bicker or fight.  The real problem though is the more Alan and I pull away from our children, the more difficult and unhappy they become.  

We both need to kick this habit to the curb, because we only have a few years left with our kids.  The relationships we build now are the ones that will carry us through their transition to adulthood. Our bonds need to be strong or we could lose them forever. That would be the greatest tragedy for me. We talked about it last night and decided to start family meetings again. We’ve done this sporadically over the years, but like most of our great ideas, we never had any consistency. Hopefully, now that we’re all older and wiser, we can do a better job.