Lisa Hood

 I’m a big fan of Anthony Robbins.  Not only is his enthusiasm contagious;  his message is clear and honest. Mom took me to a seminar that featured Robbins and a few other motivational speakers.  I can still remember how powerful and inspiring his performance was. The crowd was on their feet, clapping and yelling in response to his questions.  I like one particular analogy he uses, about the purpose of your life.  He compares life to a game, and the first step when playing any game is to know the objective.  

“To get the egg shaped ball across the goal line and score points.”

“To throw the orange ball through a metal hoop and net.”

Finding my life’s purpose always sounded too deep, too spiritual and I’ve been tempted to define my purpose as what I think it “should” be rather than being authentic about who I am.  I’d think of my purpose as what I could give to others, or how I could contribute.  The fact of the matter is: I am not externally driven.  Traveling to Africa to visit orphanages or going to Iraq to fight for women’s rights is admirable, but definitely not for me.  I’m more internally driven. And that doesn’t mean I’m self absorbed, I’m just interested in making the world a better place starting from the inside out, not the outside in. 

To put my purpose into perspective, I consider my life a game, or rather, I consider this lifetime one match in a tournament.  If I win, I get to move on to the next round and if I lose, I get do over’s.

First, what is the objective of the game? 

For me it is to: Learn, Grow and Share with others.  

Second, how do I know if I’ve won or lost?

Robbins calls these the ‘rules’ we’ve set up to judge our success or failure. The problem is, most of the time, we don’t know what our rules are.  They may be perfectly wonderful rules that help us meet our objective, or they may be obstacles which defeat our progress and undermine our satisfaction and happiness.  As if that wasn’t enough to consider, the other players on the field have their own objective and set of rules for playing the game. They may or may not be aware of their rules, but they sure will let you know if break one along the way.

When I thought about my rules, it was obvious I’ve set myself up for failure.  

RULE # 42: To win at Growing

1) Set self improvement goals

2) Do not slip back into old habits

If I set a goal to write everyday and miss one day, I haven’t succeeded.  If I set a goal to exercise three times a week, failure to do so means I have failed to grow.  

The truth of the matter is, sometimes I grow more from my failures then I do from my successes.  

A better rule would be

RULE # 42

1) Use every experience as an opportunity to better understand who I am and what I’m meant to do while I’m here.  

I set a goal to write everyday and then I don’t follow through.  I should re-evaluate:

1) My desire to be a writer

2) What I’m focused on

3) What payoff am I seeking?  

If I can answer these three questions, then I’ll know if my goal is worth pursuing and if so, what’s holding me back.

1) My desire to be a writer is still high, because I want to express myself and share with others.  I don’t need to solve world hunger to bring value. I can contribute to others by inspiring, educating or entertaining.  The power to put a smile on someone’s face is just as worthwhile as donating a dollar to a charitable cause.  

2) I am writing several blogs, which gives me multiple outlets for my writing.  I love to write about inspirational and motivational topics so when I write about my spirit, the words just flow onto the page.  I have a harder time getting motivated to write about news stories and true crime (research topics for writers posted @ Fictionway.com). When I’m totally focused on negative topics I tend to procrastinate and the writing is actually harder.

3) The payoff I seek from writing is satisfaction and appreciation of who I am as an individual. My voice is unique and when I share with others, I validate myself. I acknowledge that my thoughts and experiences are worth expression.

My other rules are limiting because they demand perfection.  

RULE # 96: To win at Sharing

1) Be expert in all things before sharing

2) Be 100% accurate or jeopardize credibility

3) Receive no criticism

Revised RULE # 96

1) Be responsible

2) Be honest and authentic

3) Accept both criticism and compliments with grace

If I am responsible with the material I share, researching topics, citing resources, stating only the truth as I see it, then I may not be perfect, but I’ve made my best effort.  I will always come from a place of wanting to help others, never from a place of wanting to harm.  Also, I’ve noticed that people who are authentically themselves, blemishes and all, are the people you connect with. Those who put on a face and try to relate, miss the mark. It’s as though the soul senses truth so I will put myself out there. I won’t claim to be someone I’m not. I can’t share what I don’t know, that is for someone else to share.  The biggest thing is to accept both criticism and compliments with grace, so that neither destroys my desire to write.  That may seem strange, but I often find compliments harder to cope with, because now there is an expectation and I’m more likely to be found lacking.  Instead I need to just accept both and share regardless of either.