Lisa Hood

I lost 1.2 lbs which was good considering….

Friday I had a migraine, so I slept most of the day and then Saturday I just lay around being lazy. Some days it is a struggle to leave the house and I wonder if my depression is to blame or if it’s just poor health and low energy. It’s such a vicious cycle…to be tired all the time so I don’t exercise, but exercise would give me more energy, but I don’t have the energy to exercise, so I’m tired, etc. etc. By Sunday I was so depressed I just wanted to sit and cry, but went to lunch w/ Mom instead. I actually did ok on my points, even eating out (I had Lettuce Wraps) but the lack of activity did me in. This week I will take baby steps towards feeling better and those baby steps will eventually result in walking 3X for at least 20 mins each time. I think that will help w/ next week’s weigh in and hopefully with my attitude too.

The meeting topic was “I am not my weight” which was eerily appropriate since Kels & I were just talking about that on the way to the meeting. She asked me how I defined myself, which is difficult w/o resorting to a laundry list of roles like “I’m a mom, daughter, wife, a hard worker, blah, blah, blah” But all of these roles I play in life are not who I am as a person - who I am as a person is how I play these roles.

Who I am is creative and intelligent. I am fearful and hesitant to take action. I strive to be a good person and to always grow. I am concerned with how people perceive me, so I work hard to please others, or I just walk away when I don’t feel up to the challenge.

Hmmm a lot of insight here. Having people in my life, friends and family, exhausts me. I can only really be myself with a handful of people. Everyone else sees me in a guarded mode and guarding my every word and gesture takes too much energy. I see a lot of myself in Kels even though we distance ourselves in different ways; we’re all about keeping people at arm’s length.

Never letting anyone close enough to judge us unkindly.